One Missed Call
by ImaLamia
Summary: what will happen if Integra gives Alucard and Seras a phone? What would happen if Seras resives a strange phone call? Rated for language


HI!! I thought that Id take a break from Alucard's 'Daughter' and write a mystery... oooOOOOOOoooo... hehe... ummm me Bord.

Disclaimer time!!

Me no own Hellsing, Boost mobiles, or the movie One Missed Call.

This is kind of a spoiler if you think about it. SO DON'T THINK ABOUT IT!!

READ ON MY LITTLE MIN-... I mean... READ ON MY LITTLE READERS... butt munches... you SERIOUSLY never let me have any fun...

**One missed call**

Alucard sat in the basement, bored as hell, when Integra called him.

He, as slowly as he possibly could, went to her office. When he entered, Seras threw a cell phone in his face,

"HA!" she boasted, "Integra loves me more then you!! She got me a boost mobile phone!! And do you know what the best part is? I HAVE ONE AND YOU DON'T!! ha-ha-ha-HA!!"

Alucard grabbed her head and threw her aside, "Do YOU know what the best part is? I DON'T GIVE A DAMN!!"

Integra smirked, "Are you jealous, Alucard?" she asked.

He crossed his arms and grinned his famous smile, "No. Why would I want one any way?"

Integra reached into her desk and pulled out another phone, "Well if you don't want one, I'd better give it back to the store."

Alucard flew across the room, snatched the phone out of Integra's hand and shoved it into Seras' face. "NOW I HAVE ONE TOO!! HA!!"

Integra walked up to him and grabbed it back, "I thought you didn't want one."

"I didnt, 'till I found out that I all ready owned one." he said grabbing it back and leaving the room, already messing with the settings.

Seras looked at Integra, "This isn't some sick joke, is it? Do we really get to keep them?"

"Yes. They are yours to keep, or destroy. I really don't care." she answered, taking her seat back at her desk.

Seras blushed for no apparent reason, "Thank you, Sir Integra." after she said that she was gone.

Integra shook her head, "Why I am I stuck with the weirdest people in the world?"

**-DOWN IN THE BASEMENT- ALUCARDS ROOM**

Alucard sat on his thrown, messing with the languages on the phone. He was doing ok in translating, until he accidentally changed it to Spanish.

"Aww, shit." he said as he tried to switch it back to his native tongue. "Damn it. How can I know ALL of the other languages on this damned thing BUT I don't know Spanish?"

After awhile of messing with his phone, he finally gave up and was about to throw the phone into the wall when he had an idea. He stood up and walked through the wall that he was about to throw is phone at.

**-IN THE BASEMENT- SERAS' ROOM-**

Seras was laying down in her coffin, messing with her ring tones, when Alucard tore through the wall. Seras screamed and jumped ten feet in the air.

"HOLY SHITE!!"

Alucard started to laugh when the first book hit his head. He successfully avoided the rest of them, but the first one had hurt his nose."Police girl! stop throwing books at me! I just wanted to know if you could read Spanish!!"

She stopped throwing books at him, and asked, "Why?"

"Because my phone setting is on Spanish but I cant read Spanish." he handed her his phone, "Turn it back to normal."

She grabbed the phone gently out of his grip and began to read. After 20 seconds, the phone was back on the readable language. He grabbed the phone hastily and turned it back to another language.

"MASTER!! Why are you changing the languages again?"

He shrugged, "I dunno. Bored I guess."

"Well if it gets stuck on Spanish again, I wont help you."

"Okay."

He was about to walk out of the room, when Seras' phone went off,

(the one missed call theme goes off)

Seras picked up and eyed the number. Alucard walked up, which scared Seras again, and looked at the number too.

"Damn Seras. Who did you give your number too? You've only had the phone for thirty minutes." he grinned evilly. "And how could you give your number to someone else before me?"

Seras tuned around and looked her Master right in the eye, which is strange for her, "Master, that's the thing. I... I didn't give my number to anyone. And another thing, I've looked at all my ring tones, that one wasn't on there."

Alucard shrugged, "Mine didn't either. Hey could you send it to me? It actually sounds pretty cool."

Seras nodded and opened her phone. "Hey look Master. The people who called must have left a voice mail."

"Why are you running it passed me? Just see who it is. I bet that that stalker of yours found out that Integra gave you a phone and begged her for your number."

Seras sighed. "He is not a stalker. Pip is just an over obsessed man with a crush on me."

"A little to obsessed if you ask me." mumbled Alucard. She rolled her eyes, pushed the play button on her phone and brought it up to her ears. Soon her eyes widened. "Oh my god!!" she screamed. She threw her phone into her coffin and screamed again. Alucard had faded into the wall before she started screaming and reentered the room.

"Man, Police girl. You have some lungs."

Her eyes were still as wide as before, they were even filled with tears. Alucard walked over to his little fledgling. "Hello? Seras can you hear me?" He said waving his hand in front of her face

She looked at him, "MASTER!! SOMETHING IS WRONG WITH MY PHONE!! IT WAS SCREAMING AT ME!!"

He rolled his eyes and walked to her phone, leaving behind a shaking and protesting Seras. He picked up the phone and went to the voice mail.

"Police girl, I need a password."

"Oh, umm it's 6567."

Alucard punched in the buttons and brought the phone up to his ear.

"Master," it said in Seras' voice, "Whats going on? I mean, I don't get it, every were I go strange things happen. I see these people... I know its stupid for a vampire to be afraid, but... where are you? HOLY SHIT!! Who are you? You scared me. Oh my God. Your just a little girl. Wait, what is that? Little girl, what's that you have in your hands? OH MY GOD!! IT'S SILVER!! HELP ME MASTER!!"

'End of message, if you would like to repeat this message press 7 to delete press 8.'

Alucard pulled the phone away from his face and had the exact opposite reaction then Seras had. He, of course, laughed.

"Whats so funnny Master?" she asked, "This seems so familiar."

"Police girl, do you watch TV often?"

"Nope."

"Police girl. This was a movie plot to the movie 'One Missed Call."

"Then why did this just happen to my phone?"

"Someone probably knew your number from Integra, and emulated your voice until HE got it right and sent that to you.."

"Wait. Did you just say 'he'?"

"Yes" he grinned evilly

"Master" she said tiring to hold back her tears of anger, "Did you send it to me?"

"No. But I have a clue who..."

"Who?"

"Pip Bernedette."

"What ever you have against him please let it go."

"I'm just telling you what I think." After that Alucard left her room.

**-TWO DAYS LATER-AFTER A MISSION SERAS ON THE PHONE WITH ALUARD-**

"Seras, your not seeing ghosts.."

"NOT GHOSTS, SPIRTS!! Ever since that phone call, Ive been seeing weird stuff everywhere. Master, can you please pick me up."

"Why? Didn't the wild geese give you a ride home?"

She scowled, "No. They thought that it would be funny to leave the only girl on there team that is scared out of her mind by herself in the middle of the forest."

Right then Alucard began to laugh. Her scowl grew deeper. "Shut up Master. Its not funny."

He stopped laughing, "Okay, police girl, where are you and I'll come get you."

"I'm at Chedder Village..."

"Again?"

"Yes. please hurry, it's getting really creepy."

"Only you would get creeped out as a vampire," after that said, he hung up.

She sat there for a few mintues and already wished that he was there. She was especially creeped out by the little girl down the road. She wore a black jacket and black pants. Her breathing was uneven, as if she might have an asthma attack.

Seras eyed the girl for a long time, when the girl just stood there she asked "Little girl, are you lost?" the girl made no reply, she only breathed harder.

"Hello?" Seras asked again? The little girl vanished as if she might have not been there.

Seras' unneeded breathing was getting harder to control. She whipped out her phone again and dialed Alucard's number. After 5 rings it went to voice mail. she sighed, "Master," she said, her voice shaking with fear "Whats going on? I mean, I don't get it, every were I go strange things happen. I see these people... I know its stupid for a vampire to be afraid, but... where are you? HOLY SHIT!!" she jumped as she saw the little girl reappear a few feet away. "Who are you? You scared me. Oh my God. Your just a little girl. Wait, what is that? Little girl, what's that you have in your hands? OH MY GOD!! IT'S SILVER!! HELP ME MASTER!!"

After that the phone was cut off.

**A/N**

MMMWWWHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!! man... I hate mysteries... wait. then why did i right one? Eh, who cares, I thought that it was a good story...

Ummmm.. oh ya!! I think that I have a new mascot!! The evil, talking, company owning squirrel!! ya.. me and my 11 year old cousin thought of that. What can I say. we were bored.

open for Reviews (But be nice)

**B/N**

Hola chonchos im Amanda, Jojo's new BETA...well make that her first beta lol. Im her cousin so I dont get paid..yea it sucks. But thats what family does.

Well if you see anything messed up about the story just tell Jordan and Ill edit it for her. :D:D:D:D

**A/N p.s**

Ya she wont be on to much because of the whole separation thing but, bla. who cares. She'll be on as much as posible. Right Mana?

**B/N p.s**

Yep...


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